promises

We used to run and skip to each other’s heartbeat. We made promises that we would never leave. It did not seem naive, how could we be, we had experienced what few knew- shame is what others give to you. We would never give that to each other. Monsters are hungry for young souls and we said we would be with each other until we turned old. 

Do you remember when I came into the world? I remember when you came into mine, when I realized that you were by my bedside each night. Comforting me with your light. 

How do you fly without wings? 

How do trees grow without roots? 

How do fish swim without water? 

I love you. I can not leave you. 

I never did, my body is just one part of me. 

My soul was always by your side. Did your ghosts cover them up- did your monsters make them hide? Did they lie and say I had left?  

You were my best friend. I could never leave you, not even if I tried. My monsters were loud, I wanted to silence them so I could hug you tight, so I could be what we promised each other in the middle of the night. 

Our heartbeats play on different beats. Mine is silent and filled with heat. 

Our promises are long forgotten.Your fear turned me to stone. I stood there as you told me to leave our childhood home. 

Could you love me- 

Again- 

If we were friends I would believe you, but since you are my sister I know that the love you felt for me stopped when my body left you. 

One night.

It hurt me to hold you

My back not yet trained 

To hold another body 

With feelings 

A

Name 

A shame 

I

Can not contain 

Midnight

I see you are scared, just like me. Do you like your fear? I like mine, it helps me feel alive. It helps me know a few things. 

1. You are human 
2. You feel, I see it in your eyes. Puddles, Pools and Prisms of light. 
3. You are sensitive but hide, with generous sight and careful intuition. 
4. You have good intentions. 

How do we convince ourselves of love? 

I fall in love with ego, obsession, worship, alcaldes yet I always surrender to the truth. 

Ideas. Am I an idea to you? Or am I human too? How can anyone fall in love with a beast like me? 

You smile, it feels like it has  been a while, I never want it to disappear. You stay beside me and my ideas become clear. 

Love is similar to fear, they both possess but your love makes me overcome the fear that I can not wrestle or subside. My skin won’t let it fade and you are convinced by your side that I need to stay.  I stay there until I die and you remember the fear I had when I was not in your sight. 

Sensations.

It was a disaster. I do not know what it means to love. 

I fall in love with sensations, the tingling, touch. The want, the need, the infatuation to please, to surrender, to the next moment. I am what you expect, a caring soul, with no home to call their own. I love sensations, the feeling that one feeling could last forever, it is the poet in me and I do not try to hide this monstrosity. I am honest, I say it from the first moment we meet. I love the feeling of you, how you make me feel, how you feel, it is bloom. The sensation of you is fruit. I am hungry for all of you. 

I like to hide, like the seed of taste. It takes a long time to get inside.

 Most people fall in love with their reflection. I do not mind this- I am there too, a shadow of their blooming truth. It is a sweetness, I like to hold onto. I am what you expect, hungry to get into intellectual beds and emotional feasts that make vulnerability the appetizer and desire the dessert. There are always hungry people and I like to fulfil. Before they get inside, I whisper. I tell them, the sensation was true but now I want another fruit, they whisper, I love you and I feel horrible until I reach towards the new sensation bubbling, forcing its way into my heart. Bloom always starts.    

.

You know her name, she is the one you can not change. She is the one that speaks many ways. She is the one that tells you that all will be okay. She is the one that keeps me warm at night and helps me shine. She is the one that lets me know that no matter how far I walk, I am not alone. Loyalty is her name. Love is simply what she contains.

Open

Open your heart 

I am afraid

Open your heart 

Are you playing a game? 

Open your heart 

I am lost, tell me what to do? 

Open your heart

I close my eyes

Hope, the voices go away. 

Open your heart 

I will stay here

Open your heart

I will listen to the fear

Open your heart 

Don’t leave my side

Open your heart 

It is dark here. 

Open your heart

Tell me what to do

Open your heart

I stay in the corner 

What am I? 

Open your heart 

I close my eyes 

Open your heart 

My creativity lives inside. 

Open your heart 

I do not know what to do

Open your heart 

I close myself from you

Open your heart 

Not today. 

Open your heart 

The voices do not go away

Open your heart. 

I am afraid. 

Wounded

I run, 

Scared. 

How nervous- 

you make me. 

Will you see- 

The chatter, as cute

Or rude- 

Do you want me to leave? 

If I stay, I won’t take up much space-  

Just enough to breathe- 

To hear you tell me-

I am sweet. 

You smile,

Big teeth- sharp and clean

You dont bite me. 

Are you nervous too? 

I want to stay with you- 

So I run

How can I breathe in your love?

How can I breathe? 

When doors and traps are all I see. 

Death

Are flowers meant to live this long?

Its been such a long time,

since-

I heard a sweet song.

Promise me,

You will stay long.

39.

Can I touch you

there- 

soften the skin 

to cling and gleam

to my caress. 

I want you in my bed. 

On my couch, 

By my side- 

As the forest whispers

Please, 

‘dont leave. 

you make me– 

I want to – 

Stay. 

I don’t. 

I made promises. 

Heartbreak. 

Will you mind- 

A short time, 

With me? 

Just enough- 

So you know,

Tender tentacles

Deserve care

I like your short hair- 

Your long legs

Your giggle makes me- 

Want to take you to bed. 

Your skin

Golden to perfection

Delicious and ripe. 

Is NOW enough time- 

To look into your eyes- 

If not, 

I won’t close mine. 

ANOTHER POET

I want to take big bites- 

Out of YOU 

RIP YOUR FLESH 

WITH MY TEETH 

I LIKE YOUR LEGS 

THOSE THIGHS.

THEN YOUR SIDES

YOUR BACK- 

JUST AFTER THE DIP, 

SMALL LICKS.  

THEY ARE SOFT 

WITH YOU. 

YOU EAT THEM. 

CHEW THEM. 

TRY ME. 

I WON’T BE EASY

YOU CATCH MY BLOOD

ON YOUR TEETH.

I ROAR. 

THE SMELL OF FRESH MEAT. 

MAKES ME CUM 

EASILY. 

For my Lover

My loneliness keeps me warm, on dark days- it is my loneliness, I can trust. On dark days, it is my loneliness that lets me know that lets me know it wont let me go, a security that few have given. It wont let me go lightly, without a fight, through clenched hands and a screaming mouth, they plead

“Don’t leave me, please love them, but don’t leave me. Love them, but know when you close your eyes, you return to me. I was your  first.  Your first key, your first friend, I  was the first one to promise till the very end. They will pass and I will come back again. I will hold you tight, don’t let go but rather bring to their light” 

A text.

I wait.

Are you nervous? 

Do you plan- 

Rewrite 

Or does it come like lightning

Sharp and sweet.